Mike and Ian did an excellent moot service on sunday night entitled ‘hurt’. At the beginning of the service they played the song ‘hurt’ by Johnny Cash. The song is immensly moving, and a stark examination of life, hurt, pain and death. Even though Cash covers the song from the original Nine Inch Nails track he clearly makes the track his own, and it was his last ever single before his death. I really found solace in the song, and have listened to it many times since the service and am particually struck by the chorus which goes,
‘What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt’
Just pondering on those words and letting them trickle through my perspectives on life was a really releasing and painful thing. I am getting married in June and knowing that one day one of us will die first is a painful consideration; knowing that all those I know will in the end go away, some of them too soon; that other people will always let you down in the end, as you will them. Its been a long time since a song touched such a raw nerve in me, but I am grateful for it. To be able to reflect on the hurt that I have suffered, and that I have caused others, and hurt in the face of life is no easy task but it is a worthwhile one. I hope that by acknowledging the place of hurt and pain it will at least allow me to see its inevitable place in life, even a life that tries to journey with God.